The Locking Life of Lil b

Locking lifestyle

Singing in the Rain

The internal emotion can overcome anything going on the external. This video helps prove my point =]. Give it enough thought, feeling, and love and even on the rainiest of days you can see the sun shining upon this beautiful earth.

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September 22, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Read the omens. And read them correctly

I’m having a heluva day and i think i’m just beat. Thinking about the battle tomorrow has been somewhat stressful. and i’m starting to see some signs but i really want to make sure i’m seeing them in the correctly light.

I lost my glasses in my car for a few hours today and found them during the drive home but they’re finally broken. At first I let it kick me while my head was already down but I wanted to see it in a different way. I think it was showing me that my vision is blurred. The mentality i’m applying to myself and to the jam isn’t the right way to be going about it. I need to correct it if i’m to do my very best tomorrow.

I think i’m putting this jam on a pedestal. Yes, much like the same phrase from 40-year-old virgin. But i need to think of it as any other jam leading up to the next jam. The goal has and always should be to do better than I did yesterday. And if I can still do that, i’ll be happy! That’s what it should be like when it comes to this world (of dance). It’s all subjective and sure there are precautions and preparations that can be made to increase the odds of advancing in a battle, for me, it’s still about self-expression. If i can freely express myself in the ways I want to and still adhering to the basics and foundation of the dance…then i’m doing right for myself. Right? And I don’t want to see that as selfish either even tho that’s a word that’s been shoved in my face tonight. It’s always for the better of tomorrow. BIG PICTURE!

I always have to remind myself of the big picture even when the small (negative) events pop up into my life. We’re never a finished product and we’re always striving to learn more and become better, right? I wish people would stop taking things at face value. That includes how people perceive my actions and thoughts. There’s always going to be a next time. Another conversation. another encounter. Be patient and let people learn! Agh i know this is all jumbled but i’im sleepy.

Well, I know I just have to be confident in myself and what I believe in as of this moment. I’ll apply all of it with the bestest of my ability and see the results. Then comes to aftermath where I’m truly tested to see if I learned anything and if my views will change. That’s why I do all of this. I’m glad I reminded myself of it. If i can grow NOW to be a better person, then later I’ll be able to handle more of these life obstacles and be able to take care of others. I’m still learning to take care of myself. That’s the honest to damn truth. You gotta love yourself before you love others.

ne?

-Lil b

September 11, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Music of the soul of the world

I love music. I love where music can take me regardless of my emotional status. I love that it’ll always help to heal and push me even further along my roads of life. I love feeling out music producers, artists, rappers, singers, bands, soloists…just all forms of music! It gives me great pleasure to be able to feel what their songs are trying to convey. I also enjoy being able to give songs MY own meaning and in that way can stick with me for a long long ways.

But as I finish reading through the alchemist I now understand a certain musical urge of mine recently. Lately i’ve been drawn to nature. Stopping by the BBQ yesterday at Lake Merced I found it hard to not drop by the pier when no one was currently there so that I could be alone with the lake to catch my thoughts. Watching the ducks and birds fly and swim around was very calming. Observing the ripples in the water and current flow wind across the lake was enlightening. It made me think of life and how we’re all controlling our own paths to get to where we want to get to. I see flocks of ducks (probably not the correct grouping word) traveling in air and in water and I also see the ones making their way around on their own.

But I realize today that what I’m looking for is the music of the world. Music of the universe. Music of the soul of the world. Music of God. Whatever you want to call it. I’m looking for the music in LIFE where I cannot simply ask a fellow artist what she felt or thought about while making a particular piece. I want the world to speak to my heart with it’s own music. I want my heart to decipher it’s message and apply it’s own feeling to it. I do wholeheartedly believe that there is an (un)spoken language of the world that everyone is capable understanding. and with this language we can truly understand the heart, body, soul, and destiny of a person. I believe that music plays an integral part of this language that i’m searching for. I may not necessarily aim to speak the same language with music but I want to be able to understand it. I think i’m still out to be able to speak it with my dance while in tune with the music.

But this is why i’ve been all about going for nature walks lately. I want to believe that God (or higher being. Whatever you believe) can speak to me through the music of life. Even if that’s not currently the case i’m able to easily reflect on my life, dreams, and goals while embracing the natural beauty of the world we live in. Big picture…BIG PICTURE! I’m always able to visualize more than what I’m capable of seeing when i’m in these situations. It allows me to take notice of my life as a whole. I’m able to take from my past and apply what i’ve learned from it to the present but i’m always aware of my bigger purpose in life in the future. and that allows me to continuously be dedicated to the present always fighting for what I believe I must do. I’ll never give up on “this or that” because it’s all important¬† for my future and for whatever the afterlife has in store for me.

Going back to my brief time at Lake Merced..there was one particular duck that caught my attention. A group of ducks was swimming along with current flow of the waters but there was one duck that was going in the opposite direction and on his own. Seeing this duck swim against the current when everyone else ran with it really reminded me of a man realizing his own journey all by his lonesome. Sure maybe at this moment I will see him traveling on his own but I know at some point he coincides with other groups. But at that particular moment…I saw myself in that lake.

I saw my dreams extending out beyond the world of that lake. That there was something bigger out there for me beyond the confines of those trees. Less than a mile away was the ocean and I could fly over there and dream about what exists beyond that body of water.

My dreams extend beyond the Bay but just like that duck there’s always more that you can do for and in your home. So as i extend my vision to beyond the capability of my surroundings I know I mustn’t forget where I came from and what I want to do. Traveling allows me to give more meaning to the place I call “home”. Traveling allows me to experience the way of the world and as long as I pay attention to the omens I’ll be able to realize my destiny. But after it’s been realized, I know i’ll give my life to preserve the future of the next generation of the Bay that will be out to realize THEIR dreams.

Give and receive. Realize your dreams. Make everything count. Big picture.

God is always with you.

Wrote this listening to:

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September 5, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My heartears

Okay it seriously feels like my heart grew ears or re-grew ears or something. I’m pretty sure i’ve listened to all of these nujabes tracks i’ve got at least 2-3 times before. But recently, and especially tonight, they’re hitting me good! I’m feeling out every little beat and chasing rhythms I never felt out before. I wish I had the energy to practice just because i’m feeling SO inspired. Inspiration through the artist’s music man…I think that’s the way it ought to be.

It’s feeling good. Feeling good~

September 3, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Missing it

For the longest time I, like many others, have had a lot of weight on my shoulders. But I’m not looking for anyone to help take the load off. This is my journey and my burden to carry. I take pride in the amount of effort I pour into my life goals and dreams. It’s just at the end of the day when I get to put all of it down and take a load off I miss that hand to hold. The hand that supports my dreams and my ways. The hand that guides me in the right direction when I slip off of my righteous road. The hand that reminds me that new days lead to tomorrow when yesterday was a horriday. I miss that hand to hold when she shakes from the stresses of her day. I miss that hand that pets my head with fingers running through my hair that makes me feel that everything will be alright.

I miss that hand to hold.

September 2, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment